psychologist, tick.

I saw the psychologist today. Last week I finally sent back the surveys, questionnaires and other assorted forms and tests he had sent to me. I agonised long and hard over every question, scared that I’d inadvertently say or indicate something that I hadn’t intended or cast me in an “unsuitable” light.

I needn’t have bothered. He had given the info a cursory glance – but advised he incorporates them into his work up after our initial session. That made me feel good – although initially I was a bit irked because I had spent so much time on the forms – and he so clearly hadn’t even bothered to read them!

Our session went for about an hour and 40 minutes. Which I felt was extremely generous – I had expected to see him for about 45mins perhaps an hour at the most. Our discussion was far reaching and he put me instantly at ease.

It was great to speak to someone unbiased and impartial but with a deep understanding of the issues and circumstance surrounding obesity, weightloss and Lap-Band surgery.

We will meet again 6 weeks post-op. I’m really starting to feel as though I’m on my way.

I still have some nagging questions I want to put to Blair though, I am in two minds about whether to make an appointment or to just wait until my pre-surgery consultation and ask the questions then.

My specific questions relate to the band itself, it’s longevity, whether it has a warranty (I know, I’m crazy!) and what happens if revision surgery is required that is clearly because the band is at fault. I have been doing quite a bit of reading and it seems that in a fair percentage of cases the device itself fails – port not working, it leaks, tube breaks etc. I want to know who covers this?

Pre-surgery dieting…

For awhile, perhaps more specifically over the past two or three weeks I’ve been eating with no regard for its impact – hey I’m gettin’ me a lap-band after all.

Yesterday I tried on the clothes I bought for the christening of my God Daughter. They don’t exactly fit anymore.

I don’t recall what led up to the purchase of the skirt and sweater – but I must have been behaving myself food wise in the week or so prior, because the skirt and sweater are in sizes smaller than I would usually buy – and I clearly recall being surprised by the numbers at the time. Even going as far to ponder that obviously retailers were doing that “down sizing” thing again – where they just move the numbers down – 22 is now a 20 etc.

So to curb my wanton disregard for prudence in my food choices, I am going to start the shakes. Early.

I have been collecting a variety of shakes, different brands, different flavours and I’m hoping to find one that is as palatable as the Dr Mccleods were. The Dr Mccleods shakes are too hard to get hold of and fairly expensive, so I’m going to start tomorrow.

This of course signals a descent into hell that is swift and reliable. 3 days of headaches, frantic food cravings, food obsessions and the shaky feeling of deprivation. Another week or two of food focussed days, then the sweet relief of the shakes doing their thing and my body adjusting and enjoying the relief of getting everything it needs without being overloaded by fat and carbs and junk.

My ticker says 2 months and 1 week until my surgery. It’s getting close.

no further movement

I still haven’t sent back the paperwork to the psychologist. I vacillate between wanting to just send them to get them off my desk, and desperately wishing I hadn’t filled them out until I’d carefully analysed each and every question.

I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be over-thinking the process this much, but it’s par for the course for me I find.

treading the boards

I’ve been doing the rounds of the boards, but have found this Yahoo one to be the most useful.

It’s nice to read what pre and post bandsters have to say. Reading through the posts has helped me prepare for what lies ahead.

Each day I’m feeling more confident.