Pre-surgery dieting…

For awhile, perhaps more specifically over the past two or three weeks I’ve been eating with no regard for its impact – hey I’m gettin’ me a lap-band after all.

Yesterday I tried on the clothes I bought for the christening of my God Daughter. They don’t exactly fit anymore.

I don’t recall what led up to the purchase of the skirt and sweater – but I must have been behaving myself food wise in the week or so prior, because the skirt and sweater are in sizes smaller than I would usually buy – and I clearly recall being surprised by the numbers at the time. Even going as far to ponder that obviously retailers were doing that “down sizing” thing again – where they just move the numbers down – 22 is now a 20 etc.

So to curb my wanton disregard for prudence in my food choices, I am going to start the shakes. Early.

I have been collecting a variety of shakes, different brands, different flavours and I’m hoping to find one that is as palatable as the Dr Mccleods were. The Dr Mccleods shakes are too hard to get hold of and fairly expensive, so I’m going to start tomorrow.

This of course signals a descent into hell that is swift and reliable. 3 days of headaches, frantic food cravings, food obsessions and the shaky feeling of deprivation. Another week or two of food focussed days, then the sweet relief of the shakes doing their thing and my body adjusting and enjoying the relief of getting everything it needs without being overloaded by fat and carbs and junk.

My ticker says 2 months and 1 week until my surgery. It’s getting close.

Psychological assessment…

I just received the psychological assessment paperwork in the mail.

The practice I attend works with two pre-operative psychologists. I called the first one and made an appointment about a month ago. On Friday he called to change the time of the appointment, when I couldn’t change the time he became very beligerent. I contacted the other psychologist and have scheduled an appointment with him.

The first guy charges $80, this guy charges $165. The $80 guy is apparently of the “turn up, so-you-want-a-lap-band, ok, good luck” variety, $165 guy sent me a thick packet of information, and a 50 page personal/weight/family/psychological inventory, that I need to set aside 2hrs to complete.

As much as I welcome the opportunity to be frank, honest and open, the suspicious perfectionist in me is worried about giving the wrong answer, about giving an impression I didn’t intend, about being good enough to warrant surgery, and saying the right things in order to be allowed to continue.

This is an internal decision that I don’t feel I should have to explain or justify to anyone but myself. I don’t think I can fill out all of the questions, and I don’t want to post it back to him prior to our session – I would be more comfortable to give it to him in person. I’m not comfortable with the idea that his reception staff might read my answers.