So, the other day was my birthday…

and I turned 34. Boo yah. I’ve been a bit down since then, lost my momentum somehow.

Things with the band have been going well. Now that I’ve got a good level of restriction I’m losing about 1 – 1.5kg a week. But I’m just not feeling it at the moment.

I had been going so well with the gym, 3 -4 visits a week, a low impact class every 2 weeks or so, a personal training session, visible evidence of increased fitness and tone – the natural exercise high turned up to MAX. Then poof! it’s all gone. I just feel flat and washed out. I looked at myself in the mirror and a little voice said – “who do you think you’re kidding, you’re still fat, you’ve got years to go”. Reality bites.

The day after…

I was first on the list yesterday morning, we were up at 5:30am to shower and get organised and off to the hospital. By 8am I had been prepped, changed, stocking’d, IV’d and was lying in theatre being told to go to sleep smiling so I could wake up smiling.

I was very hot when I woke up, and my legs were being inflated and deflated on about a 30 second cycle. What appeared to be calf/knee/thigh pressure cuffs were around my legs and in conjunction with the TED stockings were supposed to prevent blood clots. Strange feeling.

Once up in the ward I started to feel the pain, so I got some panadol. Woo hoo. The first one was given to me whole and I duly swallowed it…and it sat like a giant brick in my stomach until I had a few more sips of water and I could almost feel it dissolving.

Then I slept and dozed on and off for the rest of the night. Only to wake up at 3am to discover my period had started. This isn’t usually a problem – however for me my period is accompanied by bad bloating, GAS and constipation. Greeeeat…like I need extra GAS problems.  Bowels open at 3:30pm – which is good, I’ve heard stories of people waiting four, five days even a week just to fart! let alone poo, so I’m glad I was able to do both from the outset.  On Friday afternoon I did start taking Degas though, because I remembered from when I had my appendix out the gas was the worst pain ever, and the degas is making a big difference.

I was home this morning (Friday) and have been sipping liquids and sleeping on an off for most of the day. I’m still in quite a lot of pain – mostly around the port site and in a band across my chest and up into my left shoulder – the dreaded shoulder tip pain. That is actually the worst of it…because it’s a “take your breath” away kind of pain and every time it washes over me I feel a little faint.

I filled out my weights and measures book on Wednesday night, and was pleased to note that I was 140kg pre optifast and on the morning of surgery was 133kg. I’m happy with that. Let’s hope it’s a sign of things to come.

Blair said the surgery went well, no complications, liver small and sturdy, no nicks, cuts or anything else untoward. I’m just looking forward to the shoulder/chest pain to go away.

Pre-surgery dieting…

For awhile, perhaps more specifically over the past two or three weeks I’ve been eating with no regard for its impact – hey I’m gettin’ me a lap-band after all.

Yesterday I tried on the clothes I bought for the christening of my God Daughter. They don’t exactly fit anymore.

I don’t recall what led up to the purchase of the skirt and sweater – but I must have been behaving myself food wise in the week or so prior, because the skirt and sweater are in sizes smaller than I would usually buy – and I clearly recall being surprised by the numbers at the time. Even going as far to ponder that obviously retailers were doing that “down sizing” thing again – where they just move the numbers down – 22 is now a 20 etc.

So to curb my wanton disregard for prudence in my food choices, I am going to start the shakes. Early.

I have been collecting a variety of shakes, different brands, different flavours and I’m hoping to find one that is as palatable as the Dr Mccleods were. The Dr Mccleods shakes are too hard to get hold of and fairly expensive, so I’m going to start tomorrow.

This of course signals a descent into hell that is swift and reliable. 3 days of headaches, frantic food cravings, food obsessions and the shaky feeling of deprivation. Another week or two of food focussed days, then the sweet relief of the shakes doing their thing and my body adjusting and enjoying the relief of getting everything it needs without being overloaded by fat and carbs and junk.

My ticker says 2 months and 1 week until my surgery. It’s getting close.