psychologist, tick.

I saw the psychologist today. Last week I finally sent back the surveys, questionnaires and other assorted forms and tests he had sent to me. I agonised long and hard over every question, scared that I’d inadvertently say or indicate something that I hadn’t intended or cast me in an “unsuitable” light.

I needn’t have bothered. He had given the info a cursory glance – but advised he incorporates them into his work up after our initial session. That made me feel good – although initially I was a bit irked because I had spent so much time on the forms – and he so clearly hadn’t even bothered to read them!

Our session went for about an hour and 40 minutes. Which I felt was extremely generous – I had expected to see him for about 45mins perhaps an hour at the most. Our discussion was far reaching and he put me instantly at ease.

It was great to speak to someone unbiased and impartial but with a deep understanding of the issues and circumstance surrounding obesity, weightloss and Lap-Band surgery.

We will meet again 6 weeks post-op. I’m really starting to feel as though I’m on my way.

I still have some nagging questions I want to put to Blair though, I am in two minds about whether to make an appointment or to just wait until my pre-surgery consultation and ask the questions then.

My specific questions relate to the band itself, it’s longevity, whether it has a warranty (I know, I’m crazy!) and what happens if revision surgery is required that is clearly because the band is at fault. I have been doing quite a bit of reading and it seems that in a fair percentage of cases the device itself fails – port not working, it leaks, tube breaks etc. I want to know who covers this?

Psychological assessment…

I just received the psychological assessment paperwork in the mail.

The practice I attend works with two pre-operative psychologists. I called the first one and made an appointment about a month ago. On Friday he called to change the time of the appointment, when I couldn’t change the time he became very beligerent. I contacted the other psychologist and have scheduled an appointment with him.

The first guy charges $80, this guy charges $165. The $80 guy is apparently of the “turn up, so-you-want-a-lap-band, ok, good luck” variety, $165 guy sent me a thick packet of information, and a 50 page personal/weight/family/psychological inventory, that I need to set aside 2hrs to complete.

As much as I welcome the opportunity to be frank, honest and open, the suspicious perfectionist in me is worried about giving the wrong answer, about giving an impression I didn’t intend, about being good enough to warrant surgery, and saying the right things in order to be allowed to continue.

This is an internal decision that I don’t feel I should have to explain or justify to anyone but myself. I don’t think I can fill out all of the questions, and I don’t want to post it back to him prior to our session – I would be more comfortable to give it to him in person. I’m not comfortable with the idea that his reception staff might read my answers.

Starting my journey

I knew I was ready when one day I heard myself say “I’ve had enough”.

I’ve had enough of being fat. I’ve had enough of feeling isolated, separated, discriminated against, tired, short of breath, achy, unfit and everything that comes with being overweight.

I saw a surgeon about 5 years ago to investigate the idea of Lap-Banding. For many reasons I didn’t take the idea any further, but it has been firmly in the back of my mind ever since. I’m glad I didn’t – there were many hiccups in the road that lay before me, and I suspect that any additional stress may have been too much, and the Lap-Band probably wouldn’t have worked for me.

Fast forward to January 2007. I met with a different surgeon, with a view to the most radical WLS possible – I was fat, I was going to have surgery, and damnit I was going to go all the way. It was Gastric Bypass surgery or nothing.

After speaking with the surgeon, and discussing my options more fully, I realised that a Lap-Band is likely to work for me, and pose the least amount of post surgery adjustment. (no pun intended)

I want this to be a personal story of my journey, so I won’t name my surgeon. If you want to know, contact me directly and I’ll let you know.

My surgeon’s office gave me a list of steps that are taken prior to surgery, let’s see where I’m at:

1. See surgeon to discuss options. Tick!

2. See dietitian to discuss food now and after. Tick!

3. See psychologist for pre-operative counselling. (23rd March 07)

4. See surgeon to make pre-op payment and check-in before surgery. (16th May 07)

5. Surgery. (24th May 2007.)

I’m calm and sure about this decision, and I feel a sense of relief that the journey has begun.